Languish for you (My soulmate) Read online

  “But you know it isn't the solution. He is...that only that she...” Christopher seemed to have a lack of words and that only gave me more reasons to be suspicious. Who were those guys and why should I listen to them?

  Yea, I had trust issues, but not because there were many people who had hurt me. That wasn't the reason why I always tried to avoid every living being in this world, who was standing on two feet. It was just because I could give all of myself to a total stranger. I wanted to believe that there weren't any bad people. That everyone had conscience and do only the right things. I just didn't want to be alarmed every day, hour, minute or second. And that scared me the most. What if the person to whom I could give my heart, my trust, will use me and throw me away like some kind of rubbish?

  I took two more steps forward.

  “I know,” the woman sighed. “It's just illogical. I have never heard that someone could remember his life after he came back to the living world. That seems strange and...dangerous. You know that hunters could be interested in her if they find out about her.”

  “So, it's our job to keep her safe.”

  Two more steps forward. The corridor wasn't very long, but if I step four or more, they could see me or hear how loud my heart was pounding in my chest.

  “And that would be the problem, Christopher. It's impossible to keep her safe when she knows the truth.”

  “But if we lie to her, she won't trust us and that will only give us more unnecessary things to deal with in the future. Do you want that?”

  “Of curse not,” she sounded aggrieved. “We need to do our mission.”

  “So?” he wanted to hear her answer which he knew already. But still, he needed to hear it out from her mouth, only to be sure that his imagination didn't end up with the wrong conclusion.

  “We will tell her the truth,” she agreed reluctantly. She even sounded angry with that.

  “Thank you,” Christopher said. “How are you feeling, Trinity?” he raised his voice. I petrified. He knew I was listening secretly to their conversation. I had to admit, he had a good hearing or there were secret cameras installed.

  But I didn't hurry to confirm the fact that I was here. I even tried to crawl back to the door, but he appeared in front of me, not giving me a chance to save my dignity. He maybe even liked to make my cheeks red from shame, because his face soon was with a grin.

  “You are getting stronger with every minute. That is...surprising,” he admitted and took my hand into his, helping me to keep my balance. Suddenly I felt dizzy. Everything started to move.

  “Who are you?” I managed to ask, but I didn't hear his answer, because the darkness took me into the land of nothing.

  Chapter four

  A dog was barking and that was what forced me to open my eyes and look around. I was in bed, but this time the room was different. The walls were dark blue and had many painting on them, showing ships and castles. Almost like in my room.

  I lifted my eyes up to see some windows built-in the roof. I could see a blue sky and the sun, shining and rewarding people with warmness and light. But this sun seemed a bit lazy.

  “Autumn,” I said to myself as I lowered my eyes down to my hands.

  I knew that I had died in summer. So, how long...was I dead?

  I tried to leave my bed, but that nausea feeling hit me and I put my head on my pillow, trying to kill that sense. But it wasn't easy to do. I was weak and sick. Also I could add that I was scared, confused.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This helped to feel a little better and that was enough for me to open my eyes again and gasped. Christopher was sitting on the chair next to my bed. How did he come here? I could swear that he wasn't here a minute before. And plus, I didn't hear anyone coming into the room.

  “Who are you?” I asked in a weak voice. I was so puny that even an ant could defeat me with one touch.

  “I am a protector, Trinity. I am your protector,” his eyes met mine and didn't let me go. Seeing honesty in his eyes, I nodded, giving him a sign that I was listening and believing him, although a tiny voice in my head warned me not to do that.

  “From what will you protect me?”

  “From bad things,” he smirked and shifted from chair to the bed. His fingers soon found the place on my face from which he removed a lock of my hair. It felt so good and on the same time so wrong. I didn't know who he was.

  Grip yourself, Trinity, I ordered myself. It's not time and place to drool over a guy who know...

  “How long I was out? Where am I?”

  “Changing the subject,” he teased, removing his fingers, but not eyes from my face. I didn't said anything to that. I patiently waited for him to continue. “You were dead for eighteen years,” he said carefully.

  “Eighteen?” I frowned.

  He nodded.

  “Triny, what I am about to tell you, is important. It could sound stupid or maybe funny, but that is the truth.”

  Now it was my time to nodded, give him a sign that I understood him.

  He squeezed his lips together. He didn't want to tell me what he had to. That was a clear sign for me that I wouldn't be happy to hear his words, but I needed to know something, and only he and that woman were those people who could kill those dark clouds and bring me back the sun.

  The truth saves us, I said in my mind.

  “The car accident in which you died... was planned. Your soulmate was killed. We couldn't leave you alive, because you hadn't even met him and that was the main reason why you were dead. A person, who hadn't met his soulmate, will become a living ghost. Your mission was to create and change lives, Triny,” he gave some seconds for the words to sink in me. But not the story which he was telling me, stole my attention; it was how he shorted my name. Only my best friend called me Triny.

  Tears appeared in my eyes, and I couldn't stop them. If he was telling the truth, although I didn't want to believe him, I was dead for eighteen years and my friend... Tessa... how could she live without me, her best friend?

  “Shh,” he said calmly, removing small water drops from my cheek. “I know how it sounds, but you need to understand that everything was done ...”

  “Why am I alive?” I closed my eyes. I didn't want to meet his gaze or let another pair of salty tears to travel my face.

  “Because a mistake was done. You see, when a guy turns eighteen, we check who is his soulmate and try to find a way for them to meet. Sometimes we are able to bring them both together in two months, sometimes it takes years. I and Avery got... him “ he decided to hide his real name. ”He is eighteen and we tried to find out who will be his friend of the life,” he stopped again, giving me some time to understand his words.

  “And?” I asked, although I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear more of this crazy story. Was he a writer? Because if not, I could definitely use this story to create a book.

  “We didn't found her until we started to dig deeper. Really deep, “ was he making fun of last day's events? ”The baby which had to be your new body, died some minutes after the birth. We had some cases when the soul didn't want to come back to live or it had another reasons, for example, was scared, confused. They run away, ending up to be locked in their old bodies. Ant that's how some nasty ghosts appear. “

  “You want to tell me that I was so scared that I left my...What? New body?” it really sounded stupid. Maybe there were some secret cameras, filming my reaction to this story.

  “I don't know,” he said honestly. “The star doesn't tell us.”

  “The star?” I didn't understand.

  “Yea,” he smirked. All that seriousness vanished from his face, giving place for ease and happiness. “I had seen it only once. It looked like a yellow ball in the air. At first, I was freaked out not because it floated, but because I heard a woman's voice in my head.”

  I turned my eyes away from him. I had also seen that yellow ball. Also, it talked to me, calmed me. I knew that it won't hurt me. Ever.

  “What did it say?
” I asked quietly.

  “It told me...” he started but didn't finish his sentence.

  I looked at him again, wanting to find out what was bothering him.

  He was staring at the wall. His eyes had that look when you were not in this world, but in your own thoughts. He remembered something and that memory stole him from me.

  I didn't push him to open his mouth again. He needed some time. I knew that from my own experience. I used to get lost in my thoughts a lot. Usually I found many new things when I was in that stage and I was always a bit irritated when someone brought me back into reality. People didn't like to use their brains, but if they would, so many problems could be prevented. After all, many bad, terrible things happen when we don't think.

  Finally, Christopher shook his head, giving me a sign that he was back into reality, to me. I put a small smile on my face. Watching him lost in his little world, killed my nausea. So, I dared to take a sitting person's position..

  “Listen, I know that it's too much for you, but we need to make some things clear. I am a protector. I live one really long life. I don't get sick...”

  “I knew it! You are a vampire and you turned me into one, too,” I said half laughing, half serious.

  “Yea, and I am planning to drink your blood,” he joined. “But no. I am like you or other people which are in the street. I eat, drink, breath, feel pain, I could be harmed...but I don't age. I am in the same age in which I ... killed myself and joined to be a protector. “

  “Please, stop,” I said, lifting my hand up. “I am lost. You are telling me that I was dead for eighteen years,” he nodded. “But now I am alive,” he nodded again. A frown begun to spread on his sweet face. “And now you are informing me that you are one old man who looks like a student who will soon get inside the class room and listen to teacher's firm voice,” I was exaggerating everything, but still, there was a lot of truth in my words.

  “Yes, you are alive because,” I narrowed my eyes. “Okay, I see we won't get anywhere with that,” he lifted his hands in surrender as he stood up from my bed. I followed him with my eyes, not understanding what he was doing.

  “What do you mean? Everything is okay. You are telling me a new best-seller story. I am glad to hear this story.”

  His frowned only more if that was even possible.

  “I see you didn't lose your sense of humor,” he said as he approached the door. With one sudden moved he opened the door and stuck his head out of the door. “Avery!” he screamed the woman's voice.

  I lifted my eyebrows up.

  A few minutes later, the woman came inside the room. She didn't seem to die from happiness to be here this room with me and Christopher. I took a better look at her. She had long, chestnut hair falling in spirals on her shoulders. Her stance stated that she was assured and that was not easy to order her around.

  “What?” she asked a bit disgruntled as crossed her arms against her chest.

  “Tell her yourself. I don't know how to talk with her. I didn't enrolled to university to study psychology,” I heard sarcasm in his voice. How it seemed, she liked to talk about various actions which were done by people and why they had done that like this and not other way around.

  “I said she won't understand you,” she smirked and only now turned her eyes to see me on the bed, totally confused. “I am Avery,” her smile grew and became warm. Her eyes were shinning from friendliness. “I am you tutor. Did he tell you who he is to you?” I nodded, stealing a glance at him. Christopher was standing not far away from her, observing me with his stern eyes. All that amiability which he had showed me, disappeared. I felt guilty that he looked so forbidding now.

  “He is my protector from the bad people,” I said what he had told me a few minutes ago.

  “Yes, Triny,” she used my short name like Christopher had done before. I was stunned how quickly those two thought that I was their fellow. “To make long story short, everyone has a soul and everyone has another part, a soulmate. Have you got that straight?” one nodded. “Perfect,” with one graceful move of her hand she removed a lock of her hair from her face and took a step closer to me. “And there are protectors and tutors which have souls, too, but not a soulmate,” I stole a glance at Christopher again. He was leaning against the wall. His hands were crossed against his chest while his angry eyes were staring at something through the window.

  He doesn't like that fact, a thought crossed my mind and I felt sad for some reason.

  “Why don't they have a soulmate?” I asked, putting my hands on my legs.

  “I have your attention. Super,” she said easily. “Well, maybe because our soulmates were so special that they could never come back again.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She rolled her eyes and sat on my bed. She seemed so relaxed that I started even envy.

  “There are souls, which come back over an over again. But there also are souls which can't come again, because they did terrible things, for example, Hitler, Stalin. Don't ask why,” she said quickly, when I was about to open my mouth. “ I don't know the reason. It is just how the world spins around. My soulmate was a terrible person. He was killed. His soul didn't come back, while mine did. The star told me that I will be always alone and I had two options: come back to the living world over and over again and never be happy, or become a tutor,” she was telling me her story which sounded so unrealistic to me. Yea, there were days when I wished that thing which were only in books, could be real. But this... this was too much for me, even a person with a wild imagination.

  “Why didn't it give you a new mate?” I asked.

  She shrugged while Christopher was clenching his hands into fists, which soon from red became white.

  “But you have a guess,” I said obstinately.

  She nodded.

  “It's said that every pair of souls is created separately, without any spare soul. So, if your soulmate crosses some kind of forbidden boundary, it will be you who pays the price. “

  Okay, I said in my mind. That I understood. Be good or else some kind of guy will be alone all his live...existence.

  “Okay, what else?” Avery asked herself loudly.

  “Maybe why I am alive,” this topic seemed really something. How could a dead person be alive again?

  “Yea,” she said pensively. “I think you are dieing to find out why you are back. So, make yourself comfortable. The main reason why you are here, because your soulmate is alive and you were dead. We couldn't kill him, because you are special. I mean you have a talent in writing or something like that and you need to live and do your job. But you couldn't do it in your...life, because your mate... wasn't alive. So, the bodiless gave orders to kill you that you could meet your mate in other life. But, how we know now, something happened not according to the plan and your mate is...was without the mate. So, the bodiless decided to bring you back to life,” she said, avoiding meeting my eyes which were glued to her face.

  “The bodiless?”

  “They are those who make decisions, Triny,” Christopher said, controlling his voice.

  “And why they brought me back to life?” I decided to ignore his strange behavior. “Why they just didn't kill my soulmate and give us a new life?” I wasn't stupid and they should understand that now before they could make bigger fools of themselves. Where was logic in her story? Kill someone, that he could meet a girl in other life. But when that girl wasn't in the next life, instead of killing the boy, the girl was brought back from death's land?

  She whinnied, showing me that my question wasn't desirable at this moment. But still, I insisted to hear the answer to my question.

  “Well?”

  “I don't know,” she said honestly. I glanced at Christopher, who only mirrored his friend's gesture. “We have long lives, but they don't give us all facts and the bodiless don't like answering questions. They prefer that everyone do what they have told or else some painful consequences will wait for us.”

  “I am the first pe
rson... to be...”

  “No,” Christopher snapped. “You are not the first and maybe not the last one. But you are for sure the first person who remembers who you are. All that death's experience erases soul's memory and sometimes even talents. But you...”

  “It's too much,” I said hugging myself. ”I want to be alone for some time. What you have told me...”

  “Don't take too much time, Triny, because we don't have it. And staying in the corners with napkins won't work. We have a job to do and you have a new life to start.”

  Yea, I said sarcastically in my mind. A new life with so many things in it which I could experience. But the problem was that I didn't want to live that live, so, why I should to live this one.

  A few months before the last bell at school could ring, I was lost. Everything what I was doing seemed so pointless and empty. I just couldn't understand why I should want to change everything so quickly; studies, work, friendships, kids... I wanted to push a stop button and even hit another button and turn everything back only to give myself more time to find strength in me to move on. At that moment I just wanted to write, read and observe how stupidity ruled this world. I perfectly understood that an adult's life will take my pleasure for me; writing. I didn't want to give it.

  At those days I even thought about sending myself to the dead land. It seemed so easily; drink some poison and let everything to vanish: problems, fears and so on. I even felt jealousy when I heard that someone died.

  But lucky for me, someone did all that dirty job for me. So, why did I felt so terrible now, hearing Avery telling me that I was murdered on purpose?

  Because you had dreams, which were stolen by death. Because you know, how your family and friends cried the last tears seeing you in the coffin, I said to my mind.

  I felt hot tears on my face, proving me that I had a heart in my chest and I was really sorry that I gave so much pain to someone I cared once.

  I could even imagine in my mind my mother, standing... No. It wasn't a vision, it was a recollection. My mother was standing next to my bed. Her face was so sorrowful that I wanted to see something else and not her face, those red eyes with tears in them.